I'm 14 and want to kill myself, help?! 10pts?:(?

I'm a 14 year old girl and am quite shy and timid, I have a fair amount of friends, and used to be one of the most popular girls in the school, but I have lost alot of them over this. Well, I dont really hang round boys at all really, but when I was with a friend, I saw a boy I had been speaking to over the internet, who goes to a school near me, hes 15. We were near the beach, and I was meant to be sleeping round hers, (she lived quite close to the beach.) and we walk in eachothers houses like its our own. Shes one of my best friends, so when the boy wanted to talk to me she was like fine yeah just meet me back at mine. I told her I'd only be a minute because I felt really bad and awkward. We sat on the seafront generally having a laugh and chatting, then he asked me to come back and watch a film, and I felt SO shy because I NEVER hang round boys. Ever. And I sort of had to say yes. So I went round, and we watched a film. And then he asked me out sorta, and it all kinda went. He was being so sweet and kind to me and I actually felt a little flattered and I was so happy. He was like my first love, I have fancied many boys in my time, but he actually grew on me. And after, things were still a little awkward and I was a little shy. He began to talk to me about relationships. Then he asked me for sex. I of course said no for a long list of reasons. and he kept getting angry and trying to persuade me saying 'Where will our relationship lead to if we dont?..' I really wanted to go home and felt so pressurised. I went to just pretend I had texts from my mum telling me to come home. Then he pushed me back on the bed and ripped my playsuit, and I froze, I couldnt speak. I couldnt think properly, or fend for myself. And he had sex with me. That was the worst day of my entire life. He wouldnt let go. And when I finally got to go, I ran out at night time, ripped clothes, and I was a real fricking state. I ran straight to my friends house. And she opened th e door to me and ran me up her stairs, and I told her everything. I couldnt sleep at all for 2 weeks. This really has truly ruined my entire life. I began to become so fragile. And after the easter holidays, I returned to school. I cried every single day and wasnt the happy person I used to be. My frien ds nagged and asked, so I stupidly told them because I needed someone to talk to and let it out, because every time I told a friend, I felt a little relieved. I dont know why, it just helped me from not being trapped. I only told my CLOSEST friends. And in 2 weeks, the whole school knows. And some rumours had gotten round too. Even people I didnt know, they knew. There were awful rumours. I felt so low, and I would never, because well, I'm me. But at one point, after school, I got a kitchen knife and held it against myself. I felt like dying. I had hardly any friends and everything was so awful. People then were thinking I was lying, which really broke me apart. And wrote ridicoulous facebook status' aiming at me, and over 30 people liked them. And commenting 'LOVE!!' Which made me cry. If they really knew, They ******* wouldnt be saying that. And one girl, who i now know who it is, Went to a teacher and told her. After I she promised she wouldnt tell a soul. ESPECIALLY A TEACHER. And the teacher called social services and my mum. And told my mum. I hate the ***** who told on me, just as I was b ecoming happy again, I got called up to the heads office and got told someone said that to a teacher. I felt so ******* helpless. I'm 14. Do I deserve this. And now I go to therapy, which dosent help hugely. But gets me through. My facebooks been disabled for 3 months now, and I havent used my phone in 2 months. I guess it saves me from seeing things that will hurt me. And some girls dont believe me still, thats my biggest issue. I get so angry and pissed because they can just judge me and not even look deeper and feel any emotion. If that were them I'm pretty sure they wouldnt want anyone saying that. I'm in the worst possible place in my life. Also I now have high blood pressure because of my stress. And this can effect me when I'm older, e.g Strokes. I do not have any STI's or pregnant. I have been tested, but something serious has come up what I'm worried about, my vagina is swelling and hurting so much I had to miss P.E in school because I couldn't walk. It itches like crazy, I'm so worried. And I wanted to kill myself and have been SO depressed, I mean one minute I'm happy, then next I'm almost in tears, I have to face girls at school pass by as say 'ew' because they think i'm lying and everyone hates me. (I have -10 friends now.) - Can trust none of them. I'm so upset. I need help, please.