Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Is this a good opening to a story?

The tense is erratic, changing from past to present even in mid-sentence. The writing is choppy and has many grammatical errors. Also, when listing relatives, you don't capitalize "Mother", "Brother", "Sister". The scene also lacks description other than the dead body and that it was snowy--the reader doesn't know if the character is on a mountain or in a forest.

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